Waiting for My Happiness

Jana Stanfield

Bought an affirmation tape
Thinking that’s all it would take
Now I’m waiting for my happiness

Trotted out the things I think
to a hundred dollar shrink
Now I’m waiting for my happiness

AND SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE IT HAS BEEN FOREVER
SINCE I HAD THE NERVE TO THINK I COULD FEEL BETTER
I SPENT SO LONG HIDING TEARS BEHIND MY SMILE
FLOATING DOWN THAT LAZY RIVER CALLED DENIAL

Bared my soul to several groups
Like I thought you’re supposed to do
Now I’m waiting for my happiness

I’ve been thinking better thoughts
Gave up saying should and ought
Now I’m waiting for my happiness

AND INSIDE I’M FILLED WITH SUCH ANTICIPATION
MEANWHILE TRYING ON THE OUTSIDE TO LOOK PATIENT
I KEEP THINKING ONE MORE BOOK WILL DO THE TRICK
I’LL READ THE MAGIC WORDS AND THEN I WILL BE FIXED

I’ve been calling other folks
even learned some 12-step jokes
Now I’m waiting for my happiness

And the first free day I get
I’ve got plans to do the steps
Now I’m waiting for my happiness

AND WHOEVER SAID THAT PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE
DIDN’T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS WAITING GAME CAN HURT YOU
BUT I’VE HEARD THAT HAPPINESS CAN COME SO SLOW
THAT SOMETIMES IT SNEAKS UP LONG BEFORE YOU KNOW

I read Changes Magazine
Felt like a self-help junkie fiend
Now I’m waiting for my happiness

Got down on my knees to pray
I felt dumb but what the hey
Now I’m waiting for my happiness

AND I’M WONDERING HOW MUCH LONGER THIS WILL TAKE
IT’S NEARLY LUNCHTIME AND I HAVEN’T GOT ALL DAY